Starting…

19Jul10

Where do you start, when you don’t know where to start? I don’t know where to start these days. I have read that people wanting to write, even with writer’s block, need to write something, anything. I’m not sure writer’s block is my issue at the moment.

Do I have ideas to share? Yeah, I do.

Do I feel like sharing? Sometimes.

So what is my problem?

Perhaps it’s having my job outsourced. Maybe it’s that I have to sell my house. Maybe it’s wanting to move and not sure where I want to move to. Maybe it’s a feeling of not being good enough. Wondering if the things I could write about would be of interest to others. Realizing that once I’ve published on my blog it’s public and anyone, even a potential employer, could read it. What impression would it give them of me?

I think I’ve lost a sense of who I am over the years. I won’t be tied to a house shortly. I don’t have my sons, whom I positively adore, around to drag camping or to the movies. I won’t wait up for them at night to come walking into my room, plop on my bed to talk about stuff.

I need to discover who I am now without burdens. Learn what I like doing. (Okay, yeah, I know I like playing MMOs) I don’t want to spend the rest of my life being bored. I want to enjoy things while I can.

Currently I am sitting in one of my mom’s bedrooms writing. She gave up her office for me. I love my mother, there is no doubt about that. I am here because I’m partially closing down my house to save on expenses.  There is no shame in that. I just need to get out from under some burdens. My house is the last of them. In this economy I’m still praying that my house will sell. Perhaps that means some family gets a fabulous deal on a huge Victorian house, close to a school, in a safe neighborhood.

So maybe I’m just burdened down? *shrugs* Perhaps.

Yeah, so many things I could write. So many topics I could share. Bah, right now, I’m just sharing this with you. Do you ever have times when you don’t know where to start?

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2 Responses to “Starting…”

  1. 1 Terry

    I hear you! Knowing where to start is always an issue and often the barrier that keeps us from just doing it! Sometimes, we have to just start, whether it is right, wrong or inconsequential. Overthinking about where to start and how to go about things is the biggest problem that many of us suffer from. You made the first major step by making the attempt to just ‘get started’. I salute you for the initiative!!

    • Thank you! I’ve been compiling lots of bits and pieces for creating blogs and developing ideas. It’s just a crazy time for me right now, but writing just feels like the right thing to be doing.


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